Flip? Definite Flop.

I had a funny conversation today with some colleagues. We were all walking over for lunch in Las Iguanas and, naturally, I was clip-clopping along in my sky high nude stilettos. At least three people said to me, “how can you walk in them? Your feet must be killing?!” But the thing is, they weren’t – my feet never hurt when I walk in stilettos. Fact. Nobody can understand it – my mates used to call me ‘asbestos feet’ when I was in my late teens due to my ability to last a whole night on the lash without having to stumble bleary-eyed and bare-foot into the kebab shop (suffices to say I was always one of the MOST bleary-eyed though..) But do my feet become super-strength in direct correlation to the amount of alcohol I have consumed, or do I just have mutant strength?

To be honest, I am inclined to think it’s the latter. Mainly because I love wearing heels all day every day, even if I am popping out to Tesco for fruit and Ryvita (read: Ciggies and wine) and I can do so without complaining. In fact, I think FLAT shoes are more hazardous! Take Ugg boots for example – yes, they are super comfy with their fleecy lining but they should come with a health warning! Come on ladies, how many of you have tripped over whilst wearing Ugg boots? You know, when you drag your feet along as you are walking and stub your toe on the pavement and stumble? It’s not just Ugg boots though – ballet pumps are just as bad! Take this morning, for example. There I was trotting along to work in my ballet pumps (heels in handbag, natch) carrying my skinny vanilla latte from Philpotts and, out of nowhere, I found myself lurching forward and towards the ground. It was fine though…I saved the latte. I did drop my beloved Marc Jacobs handbag though…It’s not damaged though (to be fair, I don’t think it’s ever fully recovered from the cigarette burn. Honestly, it makes want to cry every time I look at it).

Oh, and don’t get me started on flip flops! They are clearly the creation of a sadistic soul. I agree, they are nice and airy and comfortable for wearing in the summer months but are they practical? Bloody hell, no! I haven’t been able to drive wearing flip flops for 3 years now following a harrowing incident whereby my flip flop got wedged underneath the brake (meaning I couldn’t use it). Shudder. Also, how annoying is it when someone steps on the back of your flip flop? I know, I know, when someone does it the natural reaction is to smile and say, “don’t worry about it!” when inside you are quietly thinking, “you shouldn’t be walking so close to me then should you?!!” Then there is the dreaded rubbing of the flip flops between your big and second toes, the calve ache when you have walked too far in them and the sheer sogginess should you be unfortunate enough to get caught in a freak down pour. See what I mean? Awful.



These are just a few of the reasons why I am a dedicated wearer of heels. Speaking of lovely heels – check out these beautiful Louboutins. Pure porn for girls, and a snip at £1,225 (gulp):